The Akatsuki Diaries
by JJabramsCamera
Summary: These collections of Akatsuki tales will be in the form of humorous and adventurous member entries
1. The Introduction

**Sup,this is going to be one of my first stories where I want reviewers and readers to contribute to,it is gonna have a bunch of mature shit like cursing and possibly lemons if is mainly a humorous collection of different diary entries by all the akatsuki members, except of this will be in real time a.k.a not in a diary but realtime interactions**

Diary Entries In Order:Pain,Konan,Itachi,Kisame,Sasori,Deidara,Tobi,Hidan,Kakazu,

This is only an intro, the next chapter will actually start the story


	2. Pain,Entry 1

Ok,** so here is the first chapter, I want you to leave a review to hel****p shape up this story and tell me what to change or add or what ever.**

**Dear Diary, **

"Lately I have been having trouble keeping up with all the members, so I have made them, well forced them to create their own diaries by getting a banana and snapping it in half, since almost all of us are male members, exept Konan, my threat to her was just having sex with my actual were pissed of their mind saying shit like

"But Tobi likes to keep secrets, secret!"or the occasional

I fucking swear on my Joshua or whatever his fake gods name was to kill me then resurrect me, then kill you again by is just being a bitch who whines too much.

I forgot to mention, they will be handing their entries in by the end of the month, just to see what their up to on their spare time, while my diaries safe and sound right here in my safe, next to Konan' por- I mean "pictures". if you find this book, never ever, and. I mean EVER tell her I secretly take pictures of her fondling her self in her room, oh shit why the hell did I write in pen

** Sincerely,**

** God(Pein) **

Later that night,

*Tobi bursts into living room* "SUP FEMALE DOGGIES" Tobi shouted out, but when he entered the room, no one was there to see Tobi be a bad boy :(

"WHO EVER THAT WAS, SHUT THE HELL UP" Tobi heard something that sounded like Deidara, and it was up stairs, so Tobi was one step closer to being a bad boy at last!

Tobi excitedly ran the flight of stairs to wake up Deidara-Senpai, turns out it was just a that bitch, Siri, who was set on so whenever spit picked something up, it would say shut the hell up, in Deidara's was upset when he found out it was only Siri who noticed him.

Tobi wondered where everyone was, were they on a mission, were they in an orgy Tobi wasn't invited to (little homage to that one Akatsuki gang bang lemon that I just read)

**So, that was it for the first entry a bit short, because it was mostly for testing purposes, and left on a small cliff way remember to review and give me I had this idea where every like 2 or 3 chapters, there would be a small Q and A for the Akatsuki, anyone interested to give a question for the next one?**


	3. Konan! Entry 1

**I saw that people visited, but didn't leave reviews or suggestions, I don't have the entire world in my mind.**

Dear Diary,

Konan here, boss-sama just made us start writing these, seriously you should of heard of his half baked threat to make me start writing these, and he is gonna eventually collect them, reading our own logs, exept his, how is that even remotely fair?!Plus, I have already found where he hid it I mean it is in plain view in his office, next to what seemed like a porn stash.

Hmmmm, you know what I thought of right this moment, at 6pm?A heist, to steal Pain's diary since he probably filled his up other wise why would he tell us to use diaries, to try to fit in by making other people have the same thing. Nagato can be really fucked up at times. Any way the plan is to make this bait, an "adult magazine" for pain, yeah then Zetsu is gonna be under him trapping him in his jaws when he pops up, Pain will be trapped write there, but we do need to keep Zetsu controlled.

Then we will read his older entries out loud to all the members, exept maybe Tobi,than he will learn his lesson about snatching and reading other people's , I must immediately tell everyone!Exept Tobi he can ruin will probably meet outside.I wonder if any one will hear me watching yaoi, or if I can 45make them fuck each other, but that's for a later time.

Much love,

Konan

**Later, at 6.45pm**

Hmmmm, maybe the others are just on a mission, that means Tobi can go on an **ADVENTURE!**I will first go to Deidara senpai and Sasori's room, I wonder what they do in there...

*Opens door* eww, what is that smell, and is that milk on the wall, MY GOD, what the Tobi were they doing in here?(forgot to mention, Deidara's phone was outside the room not inside)Hey, is that a Kisame and Itachi puppet putting his d*** in his butt, weird,Konan would probably enjoy the scene, every one knew she was into that , is that a friendship bracelet?

Why does it smell so *sniff* *sniff* bad, is suppose to go around the wrist, right?Or were these the ones that go in the inside?

**Outside**

** "**So Konan, what did you want me to do exactly?"

"Go outside, I think there is a tanooki outside, and it is scaring me, can you take care of it leader-same?" Sexually rubs chest with one fingur on Pain's chest

" Alright, where is it?"

"Why the fucking shit do I have to be in this fucking raccoon tanooki suit?Why can't it be like Sasori with like a fucking puppet version of a tanooki, or have Deidara make a one from his clay?!

" Relax Hidan, plus I don't even have a tanooki, and Deidara used up all of clay for Kisame's dic- I mean, his his, uhhhh, dictated face." (Nice made up art word Sasori

" Every one cast their stealth jutsu he is coming!"

"Huh what is this, PlayBoy, this time in Konoha, must have for toilet pleasure read!

"NOW" *Zetsu traps Pain*

" The hell? Why did you trap your leader Zetsu, answer me now, and why is Hidan in a tanooki suit?"

"I got the diary!" Pain sweat drops when Konan comes running

"And now to teach you to be so nosy, and read all three of your diaries to everyone, maybe even Tobi!"

" Shit...I wonder if she also saw my stash,"

That is it for now, left on another cliff hanger, if there are more views, than I'll probably make the next chapter by Tuesday or Monday, see you guys later };)


	4. Deidara Entry 1, and Tobi's Adventure

**Sup bitches, I'm back, and I noticed my view rates** have** been booming, and I can thank anyone who read else to say exept , Deidara won't be saying un in his diaries cause it is more of a speaking habit than a writing habit.**

Dear Diary

Leader-sama told me to write in this I you are gonna take this up and want intel I should tell you what I saw yesterday, I was going out on an assassination mission,unil I found this HUGE ass was actually ass fruit, it had the shape of one, and then Tobi told me to eat the center cause it was shiny, was he thinking I'm going hunting for fucking nuggets?

Anyway, Tobi took a bite of the fruit, and started acting weird, like he was jumping all around and ten times more hyper, I couldn't believe it, I don't think even Naruto could believe it! Then, an entire army of red ants started sucking away at the juices, which meant Tobi was on the sugar of his life, he pounced on this random tiger and started hugging it saying

'Tobi is a good boy and all good boys deserve a stuffed animal!"He literally fucking did an army choke on it, killed it, and took one hand to go done a special hole to start taking the guts out, and stuffed it with the leaves on the ground, it was barbaric as Valhalla.I have no idea where it is now, but it could be in the base.

From,

_Later_

"So, Konan out of all the members I honestly thought you would of been one of the last to revolt because my real body is absolutely disgusting to even look at, I mean, not even choking could accept my meat.

"You know nothing about me, even though we grew up together, and that is why you can't even please any woman."

"Oooooohhh"The group started to root for Konan like they were in a free style rap or something.

"Any way, let's get started"

**Entry 213, Today, I have seen Kisame and Itachi feeding each outers food, I mean I am pretty sure they are more than partners by now, I mean I have been stalkinhe gyag them for at least several months now, and they are still going no where, unless they are , they can't not be gay, I have heardlar manly moans when they are together, they start to sound like the guys in Konan's search history.**

The entire group was in shock, mostly Kisame, but not Itachi, he was as emotionless as ever to try to hide his was just straight out laughing, Kakazu was hoping Konan would describe more, because it seemed as though he was 'enjoying' himself.

**Entry 234, Today, I saw Tobi creating m&amp;m cookies, vanilla and chocolate stuffed cookies, then, I came into the kitchen, which is behind the living room, he turned around (every now and then I feel a little lonely)and saw me, lifted his mask up just to his mouth mask, stretched it out a bit, then shoved ALL the cookies down his mask. What a selfish prick, then he asked me if I wanted some, cause I couldn't have them, but Sasori came in and he ga****ve a hidden batch of chocolate chip to him, because he is his senpai's senpai.**

"Why does everyone hate their leader?"

Hidan was happy to answer his question.

"First, you are a fucking asshole, a pervert, keep Konan all to yourself, ugly as fuck, want us to have chakra rod piercings to control us, and you are a stalker

**In the base**

Tobi went to Pain's room and found his stash,

"Tobi wonders what this is?" He put the DVDs into the player, and found out that is what he wants to do, with ALL the girls, even though he was permanently scarred With that memory burnt into his mind.

He started to get what the tv people said "Horny"

**Left it on another cliff hanger, you people probably hate me :(**


End file.
